you aint gotta downgrade, you can get what i get!

i made daal today! and i made it with split peas! same thing really, consistency-wise. yeah, i'm uber creative like that.

and i ate waaay too much food: i will now list for your reading pleasure:
no breakfast cuz i wanted to sleep in
daal with carrots and onions and rice
small raspberry tart
2 small pieces of lemon cake with dollops of creme fraiche
some more daal with rice
3 slices of walnut bread with comte cheese
1 more slice of walnut bread with daal

no dinner for me je me suppose!

today the kids were really bratty and that's my justification for eating a lot. plus the daal is really yummy. it makes me really wish i had kept a diary when i was in middle school so i can go back now and read it and remember what it was like to be that age and try and learn a language. i'm pretty sure i wouldn't sass the french assistant if we had one. i remember being a good child. i think it has to do with the levels of discipline declining severely in today's (western) youth. if parents instilled more fear into their kids to do better in school or else, they'd pay attention. fear is a good motivator and i think it should be used cuz at 12, your child is not going to fully understand how handy english will be one day. no matter how much explaining you do.

i've been thinking about parenting a lot and i remember a calvin and hobbes strip where calvin was in shock at how there was no test for his dad to become 'dad.' it's a bizarre idea but maybe it's one that should be looked into. there are too many miserable people in the world so why create more if they're just gonna end up disillusioned, disheartened, stupid and unmotivated?

i keeed. a little. where this is coming from: i recently learned that most of the kids in this area who go to the school i teach at come from broken homes with very low incomes. the parents of these kids were underachievers themselves and now they work in agriculture seasonally and drink the other half of the year. they smoke and cuss and generally give their kids crap all the time. they also show up at school every now and then and give the teachers crap too. and this i don't understand. if my life sucked and i had a child, i would do everything in my power to make sure my child's life wouldn't suck. and that includes scaring the bejeebus out of it, if that's what it took to get it to study hard and get good grades! i'm fairly sure this isn't a radical thought, i just wonder why the parents out here let their kids be like them. surely that can't make them proud parents to see little versions of themselves.

or is it that? it could be that the parents don't think they have it all that bad, or may even think that they got it good. and so they don't see the point of working any harder for anything more when they're content with their lot. and this is the idea they pass on to their little elodie or bastien that it's ok to just get by cuz french social security is great!

i wonder if i'm being too harsh or even unrealistic about it all. at any rate, these are just some thoughts i thought i'd pen (type) down before i did the dishes and took a shower.

craving: a back cracking massage
currently listening to: whatever you like- t.i.

Pretty eyes, long hair, smells so sweet like summer in the air

i don't have much to report, the past week has been fairly uneventful. weather has been getting nicer so i've been going on walks and bike rides. i also started running and as a result i hurt everywhere. but that's good and i missed working out so much i'm glad i can run a little now.

yesterday i went to the market and got veggies for a salad. the plan is to eat as healthy as possible from now all through my summer. and since the weather's been nice, i don't mind not eating a hot meal. i made a pretty kick ass salad too: one tomato, half of a green and a red pepper, half an onion, i roasted an aubergine with olive oil and garlic and did the same to a zucchini and added chick peas and 2 small cooked and peeled beets. dressed it all with olive oil, salt, pepper, coriander and 2 spoons of wine vinegar. yummmm. and gladys was worried that i didn't have anything hot and so she brought me some soup she made with zucchini, and i love her soups. she put oatmeal in this one which was a yummy texture that i had never thought of before!

i've been doing an hour of yoga everyday for the past few weeks and i love it. but i don't really like the cool down and calm your body and center thing at the end. so i stretch and stop. i don't know if it's necessary to the whole yoga experience or not but i'm always cold and sleepy after it so i stopped doing it. i also have a tough time with the breathing cuz in the videos i follow the time between breaths and poses is too long so i take an extra breath each time and i hope that's ok. and something weird i've noticed is that during standing balance poses, i have no problem balancing on my right leg but can't seem to hold still on my left. it's quite frustrating.

yesterday i checked in with my teachers about what to prepare for today's classes and i got texts and emails one by one canceling all my classes. so where i would have worked 7 hours today, i'm only working 1. this doesn't bother me too much. but i really like working and hanging out with the kids and trying to teach them english and getting them to speak it and not be scared. i only have one teacher who has never canceled his classes on me and because of that i know all the students by name and i can see that they've gotten better! if only this were the case with all my classes. especially the groups who have a more advanced level of english. and now there is only one month left.

craving: a large glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and a bowl of fresh blueberries
currently listening to: always remember be- ryan cuming

and i'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away!

i am so angry. i'm typing this at school and i had a nice little post almost finished when i accidentally hit ctrl and 'w' and apparently in france that means 'close the window without double checking or anything.' that is the second post i have lost since i started this blog!

i hate even trying to retype this stuff; it's like accidentally deleting an essay or paragraphs. i have 0 motivation to do it all over again.

i suppose from now on i'm gonna hit 'save now' vigilantly every 5 minutes to make sure that nothing just vanishes.

sigh. here's a less entertaining post:

gladys decided yesterday that since the days are now sunny and that means that warmth will soon be here, to turn off the heating. so i was very very cold in my little room. i took a boiling hot shower and put on more clothes than i should really ever need when i'm at home at that made it better. apparently people who are cold all the time can be diagnosed as such. i haven't researched this but i have a friend who is always cold too and he told me that his regular body temperature is lower than other people's. when i was up in nantes and i thought i had a fever, ange took my temperatrue and said i was a degree lower than usual so it was impossible that i could have a fever! guess i am a reptile after all.

craving: a toasted bagel with cream cheese

currently listening to: the staff room and announcements and noise since the bell just rang.

trussst in me, jussst in me; close your eyes, and trusst in me.

alors not much happened today but i just took a shower and i'm no longer sleepy and blogging usually makes me sleepy. so here i am.

thursday: i had 2 classes and they were both easy and sweet. my eleven year olds were learning to tell time and they were really good at it so i added daily activities: 'what time do you wake up?' and the like. they're like little excited sponges and they learn so quick i love teaching them. i just wonder if they retain the stuff after they run out of class. and i don't really have any way of knowing cuz i never repeat the same material. my second class were 13 year olds and they were less intelligent, as usual. half of them leave for amsterdam next week to practice english. all of the advanced english classes are going along with my favorite english teachers. but i'm not. and i'm kinda bummed about that. they're in for a 20 hour bus ride though so that makes it a little better. the spanish assistant gets to go on that trip to barcelona, but i don't get to go with the english kids. sigh.

these students were learning about describing holidays and so i had them write emails about visiting a specific monument or touristy spot in new york. one of them stood out far beyond the rest. she came up with 10 sentences in under 10 minutes and with barely any mistakes. so i made her write another 10. i told them all to make stuff up if they didn't know what to say and this prodigal child wrote about visiting the statue of liberty, going all the way to the top, jumping into the ocean and swimming with fish and whales and then going home to take a shower. and she ended it with "it was so funny!"

then i came home and it has been read, eat, be online, repeat. i'm reading austen's persuasion and so far it's pretty slow.

wednesday: no work. went to the market in the yucky rain and on the way saw that there was a level 4 flood warning. i didn't notice any water in the streets or anything and the rain was really only spitting, but it had been for the past 3 days straight. i talked to gladys later and she asked if i'd like to come on a walk with her and jean pierre to see the river. so i agreed and my goodness; it was a good 5 meters higher than usual. and flowing ridiculously fast. brown murky water. all the ducks had gotten out of the water and found higher ground. and the river was carrying all kinds of junk and a lot of sticks and wood and tree bits. we then went to valras to the beach and it was incredible. the beach was covered with debris from the river and there was sand everywhere. fortunately the rain stopped and the sea was calm so the river just ran right into it. this made the water level and the flood warning level go down.

i made a yummy roasted red pepper vermicelli risotto with carrots. but now i'm getting tired of what i know to cook. i need to start looking for new easy yummy recipes. any recommendations of good veggie food blogs would be appreciated.

i had a grapefruit today! but far too many dove dark chocolate with almond square thingies. why oh why did you send them to me mommy?

craving: zachary's pizza
currently listening to: nothing and the sound of me typing.

the night i laid my eyes on you, felt everything around me move

gaah! there is too much to write! i wish my skills of summarizing were better. alas. i went away for the weekend to le pays basque and it was beautiful and fun and amazing and like a dream. but let's start with today.

tuesday: the weather has been so so gross here. wet and spit rain and crazy wind. non-stop. my walk to school was hilarious; i felt like i was fighting off the universe's urge to turn me and my umbrella into a modern mary poppins. and then school was freezing and smelled like wet dog/pre-teens.

my classes were hilarious. i spent 2 hours helping one of my teachers conduct an oral expression test on going shopping for clothes. i was the sales clerk and since it was a test they all looked like i had a gun to their heads as i asked them how i could help them. i sold them everything from suits to jeans, shirts, dresses and leather jackets. and i wonder how they go shopping cuz they didn't really know how sizes worked. i had students telling me their pant sizes were 38-43! and that their shirt sizes were the same. very odd. but maybe they all just picked numbers they could pronounce in english and didn't care much what they meant in the world of clothes sizes.

each student also said goodbye at the end of the dialogue and it got me thinking because i just stuck with 'thanks, have a nice day' or versions of that. and i noticed how in france au revoir is the norm. it's expected, both client and sales person say it at the end of any kind of transaction and often more than once with repeated merci as well. i rarely hear 'bye' or 'goodbye' in north america. or is it that i just don't remember hearing it?

and now i will cover what i can of the weekend before i get too sleepy:

friday: visited lourdes on our way to le pays basque. it's the off season so lourdes was pretty dead. most of the stores, museums and restaurants were closed. we stopped at one souvenir shop and got bottles in the shape of the virgin to fill with the holy water from la grotte de massabielle or the virgin's cave. lourdes' cave and it's spring is known for its miracle potential. the story goes that a young country girl named bernadette found this cave and the virgin appeared to her several times. and she told her priest but he didn't believe her and told her to 'have the nice lady tell you her name.' but apparently the virgin refused and these visions made bernadette do odd things like eat dirt. and out of the ground she dug up came forth a spring from the nearby river and when a lady with a paralyzed arm stuck it in the water, she was cured. so people got very excited and came to check it out. and then one day the virgin told bernadette that she was 'the immaculate conception' and bernadette memorized this so she could tell the priest who was shocked and believed her cuz bernadette was uneducated and couldn't have come up with those words in that order by herself. and then she became a saint and it became a huge thing and has been ever since. and there have been around 50 'official' miracles or guerisons since 1858.

then we had the most amazing pizza evar. mine was goat cheese, apple and pine nut with regular tomato sauce and mozzarella as well. so creative and delicious. it was huge too and i made myself eat it all cuz i was just that blown away by how good it tasted. and there was also a veggie one with pre roasted veggies on top- red peppers, sun dried tomatoes, artichoke, olives, etc. and they put salad greens on top of it, which i thought was a most delectable idea.

saturday: biarritz and saint jean de luz. beautiful. the day was sunny and almost hot. we walked around the coast and looked at the cliffs and all the happy surfers- there were a lot. biarritz is known for its waves and surf competitions. the basque houses were pretty cool too, white, red or green borders and woodwork- the colors of the basque flag. the towns were incredibly snooty with very high end stores and restaurants and chocolateries and boulangeries and such. but i really could not get over how gorgeous the ocean was. we tried a gateau basque with cherry filling and it was heaven. so rich- it was like a mix between a snickerdoodle and shortbread with fresh cherry filling. biarritz is also where the surf brands quicksilver and roxy are from. i didn't even know they were french! we checked out their stores but it was the exact same as in the states. a big thing seemed to be linen. there were so many stores selling basque patterned linen and cloth. from what i saw it's primarily stripes. various styles and colors and thicknesses- the most traditional of which were red or green on an off white background. and sometimes there were patterns of the basque cross or chilies. also espadrilles are basque. so i bought a pair!

sunday: we headed to bayonne and walked around looking at the ramparts and the tiny streets. every summer bayonne goes a litte crazy with this giant party called la fete de bayonne. the town hall gives the town permission to let loose and be lawless for a few days. it's pure chaos and madness; just drinking and music and crowds and food and people. and it tends to get a little dangerous as well. since it was way off season, nothing much was going on. but there were still more than a few bars with live music and confetti all over the streets. and people dressed up in costumes. it was almost like they were practicing for the summer- doing a little warm up before the real thing. we got take out italian pasta and sat on the steps of a cathedral and watched the silliness.

monday: we checked out espelette. it's a small town known for one thing: le piment d'espelette which is a chili pepper found only there. it's red, big, around the length of a green pepper and it's fairly thick. one again we were off season so there were no fresh ones to be found. only dried ones and powdered bottles of the stuff. i picked up a bottle or two, but i haven't tried any yet. also, the area we were in is known for foie gras. and other cured meats. so on our way back to beziers we stopped at a farm to get some. there was an angry goose to greet us followed by an adorable old lady. she invited us into her house to choose the various stuffs. i played with her dogs cuz foie gras is gross. she was quite scandalized by the fact that i'm vegetarian and actually tried to convince me that foie gras isn't meat! she was adorable so i assured her i would at least try some and that i would be back for more if i liked it. she does all the duck work herself which i thought was impressive cuz it's gotta be tough.

for those who don't know, foie gras means fat liver. and how they make it is by literally stuffing corn down ducks' throats until they can barely breathe. i don't know why. and then when they're satisfied, they kill them, take their liver and cook it. then they cool it and wrap it in the duck's fat and cool it some more and then stick it in jars. the duck fat preserves the liver and then when you're ready to eat it, you simply stick the jar back in the fridge for a few hours and let the fat solidify so that you can peel it right off the liver. the duck fat is thick and pastel yellow. i used to think that it was eaten too, but it's not.

in between these towns and things we visited others but i'm too tired to write about those as well. it was a very fun trip.

dang it, i'm still not done blogging about normandie!

craving: a strawberry banana smoothie
currently listening to: rapture- iio

baby i have no story to be told, but i've heard one of you and i'm gonna make your head burn

i am going to try and cover the highlights of normandie and nantes in this post. wish me luck.

i'll go backwards. today (wednesday) was simple. i got groceries, went downtown for a bit and walked around cuz it was a sunny day. had 2 very delicious and creative cookies for breakfast from a bakery in beziers. went to sephora and smelled nearly every single perfume and narrowed down the one i love: prada infusion de fleur d'oranger. leftover badly cooked maggi with onions for lunch with a yogurt. listened to last week's wait wait podcast while making sambar for dinner. sambar and rice ready and i'm no longer hungry.

i got home in the afternoon yesterday after a 7 hour roadtrip. i woke up at 530, got dressed, bid farewell to ange and walked in the dark to the nantes tram station. i was so worried about getting lost and not making it to the tram station on time that i did get lost and i missed my tram. fortunately the covoiturage guy, martin, was also running late. i was lucky though cuz he had a huge suv and i got to ride shotgun the whole way which means leg room! we picked up a guy on our way and another 2 in bordeaux and so we had a full car. martin was headed to perpignan to visit his girlfriend. he's a music store owner and guitar teacher. he played susheela raman's salt rain album. what are the odds i would ever hear her rendition of mamavatu in a complete stranger's car on my way to narbonne on a sunny day in france? narbonne-beziers train- 15 minutes. beziers-serignan bus- 25 minutes after a 45 minute wait. freezing home. turned on heaters and unpacked. maggi cuz i had no groceries. showered. dinner and bowling with friends. my scores: first game 65, second 49- and i won the 2nd! so yeah, i and the french can't bowl.

monday: ange had work so i watched the king's speech in centre ville and it was amazing. i really enjoyed it. i went for geoffrey rush but colin firth was incredible. wow wow wow. then i got my eyebrows done, hooray! met up with ange and we got some vin chaud and talked and talked. headed to benou's place after and hung out with him, cedric, some rosé, and far far too many cigarettes (one stereotype that is dead on about the french) for a few hours. home, reading and sleep.

sunday: ange and i stayed home and chilled. read and talked all day. it was so nice and i finished the book of lost things by john connolly and i really liked it. started on code zero by ken follett in french but i left it with ange when i left nantes.

saturday i don't remember. more hanging out with ange.

and now i think i'll flip and go chronologically.

monday the 28th of feb: after my previous post cedric and i went to les falaises the cliffs of fecamp. the day was gloomy and windy and the cliffs were absolutely freezing. there were also unbelievably beautiful. the wind was crazy strong and i could barely keep my eyes open. we stayed for 15 minutes cuz that's how cold it was. then we headed into fecamp to Palais Benedictine which is a castle built around a monastery where monks made a pretty potent liquor from 27 spices. a rich man decided that he was gonna continue making the liquor from the same recipe and he built the castle for his distillery. it now houses a pretty cool museum with a whole mess of old french stuff. and an art gallery- we didn't go. we checked out the distillery and it was murky and humid and smelled strongly of chemicals. we also tasted the benedictine and it was very very strong but with a yummy aftertaste of caramel. the stuff's crazy expensive so i didn't buy any as a souvenir.

and now i am vair vair sleepy so i'm gonna put the sambar away for tomorrow (i haven't even tasted it!) and sleeep. and so this is to be continued!

craving: a long deep back and neck massage
currently listening to: right as rain- adele