no more france now, but the trip continues since i dunno where i'm gonna end up in a few months.

and i am in hull at my mom's aunt's place with her fambly.

and it's a lazy sunday morning. the brats are watching tv and this awful cartoon called fish hooks came on. a few weeks ago, i said something about how ridiculous this show is cuz it's a bunch of poorly animated fish yelling about ridiculousness. it's not funny and it's really sad. so today when it began, ananya switched the channel saying "i don't wanna watch a show with animated fish" and she channel surfed for a few minutes, looking to see if i was paying attention. then she couldn't find anything else she wanted to watch so she put it right back onto the yelling fish. hahahahahaha.

this is what one of the fish just said "and i learned that crocheting is a fun leisure activity for fish of any gender!" ugh.

and there's also a tv show on the disney channel about an indian girl named indra: it's called how to be indie. and it's plain awful. every terrible stereotype people have about south asian people is in it. along with terribly fake 'indian' accents for her parents while she sounds like she's never spoken anything but disney 'american'. i remember years ago thinking that the disney channel needed more than east asians and black people to make their shows diverse. this is not what i had in mind. i haven't seen them go all crazy stereotype on east asians before. they do for black people with the way they speak, that's so raven was over the top as usual. so maybe this is to be expected. it's just quite sad. quite quite sad. and a teeny bit insulting.

and that's kinda all i have to say.

craving: my acceptance letters already!
currently listening to: a sad girl montage on a disney channel original movie

step up fast, and be the first girl to make me throw this cash!

galoonds. and i can say things like that cuz i know nobody reads this. :)

i am in a very good mood. today was a very good day. and now i will refrain from using the word 'good' in the rest of this post. shocking, i know... can she do it??

i'll work backwards, it's my favorite way to work.

i just got home after a lovely but strange dinner with gladys. we had fun discussing our various travels and alcoholic experiences. she gave me an excellent-sounding sangria recipe, score! we had some yummy red wine, fauberges i think it's called, but google keeps asking me if i meant auberge which of course, i do not. silly google. and the main course was an assortment of things: tomatoes and boiled egg, sliced on top of a bed of a sort of pilaf with radish and apple, surrounded by an achar (to be pronounced a-shar and in a french accent) of cabbage, beans, ginger and lots of turmeric and oil. yet another one of gladys' island things. i'm pretty sure it's meant to resemble pickle, but it's very mild and resembles instead, a curry that we'd eat with rasam or sambar or dosa or idli or what have you. and since the plate was large, it was all i could eat, so no dessert or anything else. except more wine.

and before we ate, i had come over to help gladys clean her house. she has a cleaning lady come once a week but this week she's off at her daughter's wedding. so gladys said she'd pay for my hard work and i jumped at the chance. it was a bit like cleaning peters road upstairs. or downstairs for that matter, they're about the same. i vacuumed and mopped 2 large bedrooms and the kitchen and the bathroom and a large living room. and before that i scrubbed and cleaned the bathroom and shower. and it took me quite a while cuz while gladys has in a cleaning lady once a week, the house sure didn't look like one that's used to the care of a cleaning lady. so i assume that she employs a rather lazy cleaning lady. i made her shower sparkle and she was very pleased.

before that i took my entrance exam to the qualifying program for the masters in translation at york university. it was hard. there was an article in french about what a crappy job stephen harper's doing (did?) in canada. and all the mess he's made and the reputation he's lost with the international community. and i don't know anything about canadian politics. to me, its' always been a bit of an oxymoron. especially after having spent 5 years in the usofa where politics invades one's life and makes one considerably ashamed to be living where one is. so i have never really paid attention to what the (seemingly) sweet canadians are up to. so i had a few long answer questions to answer in french and a summary of the article and an essay in english. i had 4 hours to do this and used every minute. the essay question was annoying (as they usually are): stephen harper's administration has imposed different values on canadians; what are values you think are key to guiding canada in this increasingly globalizing world? or something like that, better worded. and i dunno for the life of me what the values any country should embody, let alone canada. so i made some stuff up and mentioned the first nations people and the french and was it was rather silly, now that i think of it. what does 'value' mean anyway? heh heh.

and before this exam i praticed the keyboard shortcuts to make french accents cuz i thought that the exam would block all other windows somehow and so i wouldn't have access to word to correct my french. and before that i had an incredibly unhealthy brunch of a chocolate croissant and a regular croissant while watching an episode of 'keeping up appearances.' and before that i went out to get the croissants but all the bakeries i usually go to were closed, so i went to one i've never been to before. and i took their last regular croissant and their last chocolate croissant. hooray. and before that i was asleep.

in other news, i love how i can NEVER skip buy you a drank when it comes up on my itunes shuffle. :) as a result my play count on that one song is 14 while others are at 2 or 3. how does this play count thing work anywhoo?

craving: some friends to chat with in person, not online
currently listening to: party rock anthem-lmfao

if i share with you my story, won't you share your dollar with me?

i've been told my blog aint "juicy" enough. bahahahahaha.

woke up this morning to gladys calling me from her stairwell at 8:30. last night the internet and phone decided to quit on her and consequently me. so we had a drink and chilled till i sensed that they were sleepy and she told me she would call and get it fixed in the morning. i didn't know it would involve me too lol.

she got on with customer service then passed the phone to me. the guy talked me through it as easy as canned peas are disgusting. in next to no time the internet and phone were running again. gladys felt bad that she woke me so she gave me a breakfast on her balcony. i had some chocolate milk and muesli with peach yogurt. and then i was so full that i didn't feel like going back to bed.

as i was doing what i do when i get up, gladys came down and asked me if i liked mozzarella. i said i like any and all cheeses and she then said that i would be having lunch with her and jean pierre. yay! no cooking for me! but it was odd that this all depended on me liking mozzarella.

lunch was a sort of paella with fava beans. it was bland but she had a homemade chili sauce that was vair yummy. and we started with a salad of tomatoes and mozzarella. hence this morning's cheese question. we chatted about my life story (again) and i think they got it this time. gladys also ran me through a bunch of things she'd like to get done before i leave. the vacationers she's renting the place to for the summer get here the day i leave! gladys doesn't waste time. good for her! :)

so i got my paper work ready to head to the caf or caisse d'allocations familiales which is french social security helping people with low incomes out with rent. yes, i should have done this 8 months ago. i just kept putting it off and time got away. lamesauce excuses i know. i got everything together, headed to the caf, waited for my number to ping up on the board, was told to wait some more, waited for another number to ping up on the board, then explained my whole story to a kind french man only to have him tell me that they switched the system in january and that i don't get any money. apparently last year they would allow for people to come in and apply for aid and they would consider previous months' rent. they stopped this in january of this year. (insert groans of frustration and forehead smack). i kicked myself all the way home and have been doing so ever since.

but hey, now at least i know, for next time.

and then around 9pm i had a craving for cake for dinner. (dontcha just love being an adult?) so i made one, getting rid of the last of my flour and sugar. i improved on my last lemon cake by adding more oil and yogurt and the zest of another lemon to this one. it's heavenly. and my house smells like it which makes me want to eat more and this is not good.

craving: a swimming pool
currently listening to: i need a dollar- aloe blacc

straight buzzin' robitussin

wow. i haven't blogged in forever ever.

today was a hot hot day. i'm back in serignan after vee and i strutted and swaggered around the south of france, madrid and paris.

gladys invited me to a lunch she had today with around 11 of her close friends. they were all old adorable couples who had been together for over 35 years. so cute. the menu and point of the meal was to barbecue or have a grillade and in france they loooove to barbecue sardines. they even have a word for a sardine barbecue: sardinade. i have mentioned to gladys a couple of times how much i adore grilled veggies and so when she told me she'd figure something out for me to eat, i hinted it again.

alas, no grilled veggies for me. we started with a wicked homemade rum punch and des samosas (italicized cuz it calls for a french accent). gladys is from reunion so she has a few island influences in her cooking. des samosas only resembled samosas because they were triangular. other than that everything from dough to filling was different. the dough was more of a pastry dough and very crunchy, so it reminded me of the street onion samosas that are super greasy and heaven. she made me 2 large ones and, i kid you not, they were dripping with oil. she had placed a paper towel on the plate to soak up the oil, as you do when you fry food, and it was completely soaked through. i ate one and it was yummy, filled with red peppers and onions and some spices. but the entire time i could already feel my pores saturating and the acne ready to burst out on my face. half way through there was so much oil streaming down my fingers i needed to stop and wipe them clean.

initially i didn't want to take a bunch of paper towels and soak all the oil up, in case it seemed rude or odd or something, cuz i had 12 aged french people watching me, but for the second i did just that. less oil running down my hand but still.

then we continued appetizers or des entrees and had melon avec jambon or cantaloupe with ham. minus the ham for me. and i adore cantaloupe so i was happy and it was yummmy. then gladys put the sardines to grill. i disappeared for a bit cuz it was boiling outside and the smell of fish cooking sometimes is a smell that makes my tummy not like me so much.

i came back when they were done and watched them all eat and tell me what i was missing. each person had around 10 of them, eaten quickly, though to me it seemed a waste cuz so much of the poor animal went uneaten. though i believe a few of the old men ate the heads whole which produced a noise similar to when i bit into my samosa. they ate them with a lemon: i found it very interesting. everyone got his own lemon, and cut it as they wished and applied as much juice as they desired and then they used the remains of the lemon to clean their greasy fish hands! a good idea in my head; waste not.

what followed was a pasteque or watermelon. everyone got a large slice and it was meant to help with the digestion of the sardines. the french are big on finding things to add to their meal to help them digest better. this meal had 3 such things.

after the watermelon we had dessert: creme anglaise with a slice of a very plain white cake. the creme was hommade and yummy with real vanilla. but it was a very heavy dessert for such a hot day. to the dessert was eau petillant or sparkling water. they had a discussion over whether the bubbles were natural or gas produced and i was lost cuz i don't see how water can be naturally bubbly.

following dessert was of course, coffee. and everyone who had any, had two cups. and everyone who didn't, had a very sweet, imitation-rocher chocolate that was thoroughly melted from the afternoon's heat. and passed around were gomme d'acacia or fruit flavored gummy candies, meant to help with digestion. at this point i really thought they were kidding but everyone (save me) took one and ate it with much seriousness. i had a look at the packet and they looked like normal fruit gummy candies to me. no mention of any digestive powers whatsoever.

the old folk then began to argue about which card game to play and i excused myself into the shade of my room.

the meal took up the majority of my day. and i like it when that happens!

craving: to switch bodies with rihanna for the duration of the summer
currently listening to: bass down low- dev feat. cataracs

and where´s that soggy plain?

saturday morning and it´s raining.

yesterday was a lot of walking. so was the day before. my feet are tired. but that´s pretty much all we do so it´s not gonna change.

thursday: free walking tour of madrid for 3 hours. it was a lot of info and history and im sure i got things all muddled up. we found out how tapas were invented and why and learned a lot of other quirks and curiosities of the city.

madrid reminds me a lot of london, it has a lot of the same things going on. there is a lot of diversity- mostly from all the tourists and it´s a large city with lot´s to see and do and eat. it´s incredibly clean. cleaner than any other city i´ve been to in france! the spanish people are very sweet but vee and i look kinda like them so they keep thinking that we speak spanish. and so when i ask for directions like, ¨donde esta la puetro del sol?¨ they answer in spanish and i just go off of their hand guestures.

spanish people are really diverse looking. i can´t look at someone here and say, ¨oh, i know that person is spanish for sure,¨until i hear them speak. everywhere we look we keep thinking that we´re looking at indians, until we hear them start speaking spanish. their babies look different from the adults who lok different from the youth. and i like it- makes for a colorful bunch of really interesting faces.

we got to go to a salsa bar and that was alot of fun. i danced with old, large men who really knew what they were doing. they twirled me around so fast i barely touched the floor!

we also tried some veggie paella yesterday and it was severely disappointing. awful actually. the rice part was al dente and i dont really like my rice that way and there were too few veggies plus it was bland and unflavorful. and i know those are the same thing but the sentiment needs reiterating, that´s how bad this paella was. and we paid 3 euro for a tiny tapas plate of it. it was in this really cool indoor food market with a bunch of tapas stalls. it was so cool and quite expensive. it was packed with the madrid lunch crowd and everyone stood and ate from tiny plates of random meats and seafood. i think we even saw turtle feet! we started at that for a looong time trying to figure out what it was and it was so scary, they go for around 18 euro per 100 grams. the desserts looked so so yummy and they had stuff from everywhere, not just spanish stuff. they looked really carefully prepared and i dunno if this is because i was overwhelmed by all the colors and food, but it did look better than desserts do in bakeries in france.

vee and i particularly suck at taking photos this trip. we´ve taken very few even though there´s a lot to photograph. hopefully this will change.

my favorite bit of everyday has been to go to the puerta del sol with our falafel dinners and sit at a fountain next to everyone else who´s sitting at the fountain, and eat and people watch. yesterday we sat behind one of those metallic spray painted buskers who stand frozen on a box and have people take pics with them. it was so fun to watch the expressions of people who stared at this guy, cuz they didn´t know we were watching. and nearly everyone who gave him some money, creeped up to the can and dropped it in and stepped back quickly! as if he would jump at them suddenly or something! there was also a stormtrooper shooting at people with a gun that made noise, vert from ernie and bert, dora the explorer and minnie mouse walking around and scaring children. i really enjoyed myself but it got chilly soon so we headed back to the hostel. people watching is fun!

today we´re heading to the reina sofia museum since it´s raining. i don´t know anything about art but on our tour we were told of a bunch of interesting paintings that we can find in the museum so we´re gonna check those out.

craving: hot apple cider
currently listening to: this keyboard and mumbles of different languages and accents.

me gustas la manana

holaaaa!

in espagne now and had an interesting time getting here. spent yesterday climbing up a hill to get to the cathedrale de la bonne mere and there were stairs and strairs and stairs. this was in marseille and it was a lovely day. vee and i had our ridiculous arguments and discussions of what to eat next and that ñmade the climb go by a lot faster.

fast forwarding now to when we got to the airport which was a good 3 hours before we actually needed to board, i was worried that the shuttle would not get us there in time, traffic and other things but apparently there wasn´t anything to worry about and vee was right. but we were, sorry, i was very pooped and glad to just sit in the airport for a few hours before getting on the plane. if only it were that easy.

before we left serignan i made sure to check every inch of the ryanair site for cain baggage restrictions and i didn´t see anything, i repeat, anything, about liquids. i even asked vee to check and she didn´t see anything either. so we show up at the airport, one piece of baggage each, a backpack, and its stuffed to the seams with everything we will need this week including toiletries. so we get through check in and into the security line where lo and behold, we´re screwed cuz of the liquids and toiletries restrictions. i was sooooo angry. and upset. and there was that annoying part of my brain in that i-told-you-so whisper saying "what did you expect?" we did try and run our stuff through, and i will give props to the lady manning the screens; she was very sweeet in explaining that the limits pere bottle size had to be respected. she told us to decide whether the cost of checking a bag in would be worth all the toiletries and so we headed back out to decide what to do.

vee took charge and was analyzing cost benefits and whatnot but i was no help since i could not for the life of me remember what i had paid for any of the stuff. useless aren´t i? so we finally decided to chuck all the stuff and buy new toiletries and as i was on my way to the garbage can with the heavy bag of expensive products, a lady stopped me and asked if i could speak french. i said i did and she wanted to know why we came out after we went in, and she was worried cuz she sent her daughter through with our group and was wondering if she would be sent out too or something. a sweet lady. and so i explained and she sympathized and was kind, then i asked her if she wanted our stuff and she said sure! so i was happy that at least all of it wouldn´t be wasted. then she said something like, "oh you girls probably paid a lot for all this" and i think my upsetness showed on my face and so she said she would pay us for it! and i didn´t say anything and then she handed me a 20 euro bill! and so we thanked her profusely and i felt a little better.

a word to the kind french lady at the airport: we are sorry for completely ripping you off. most of the stuff was nearly empty and all of it was used. plus a lot of it leaked. you are a kind soul and i will never forget you. i hope you still use what you can of it so there will be less wastage in the world. vee still thinks that there was a lof of stuff that she could use but i think french ladies are more picky than they seem.

so we had an uneventful flight and manipulated the metro successfully, vee more than me, i still have several questions about words and directions. this is why i am not alone yay yay.

and today is cinqo de mayo and we just had breakfast at cat´s hostel, our new home for the next 7 days. we will now dress and go in search of toiletries before hopefully catching a free tour of madrid. viva SPAIN.

craving: more sleep in a quiet room
currently listening to. mumbles of different languages and typing

hey, teacher, leave those kids alone.

huzzah!

so vee's here. and she has been for 3 days. and we've not done much yet but the plans are in motion. sort of.

today i am throwing a lunch for all us assistants as a final goodbye thing. and it's here in my place. i had planned it to be an outdoor lunch in the sun and then we would have headed to the beach to lounge and maybe even swim.

but it's raining today.

so vee and i have cooked and cleared and we'll do it indoors.

the menu is biryani (that resembles sambar satham but it doesn't taste like sambar satham), raita and a guac-salad thing. the food's all pretty much ready. i'm going to add the avocado last minute so that it doesn't turn brown (vee's idea, she's convinced it will even though i've only seen it happen with guac that's a day old at least.)

vee's in charge of the raita and she isn't adding the yogurt until the very last minute cuz she doesn't like there to be too much absorbing. i would like it to be clear that i like absorbing, i like it a lot.

and i stopped with the above sentence because people arrived on time, something i wasn't expecting. and so now, i continue...

it was a lot of fun, there were 12 of us in total and more than enough food to go around. we played charades and ate and ate and ate. everyone loved the biryani. and the raita and the guac. there were delectable mini coconut cupcakes with pink cream cheese frosting and passion fruit frosting made by jules. beccs brought a box of wine cuz we're classy like that, there was pink schwepps, iced tea and my mint lemonade. colleen made an awesome chick pea salad that was spicy and really complemented the dishes we made. there were cookies and carrot sticks and bread (of course). and we ate and ate some more.

then people trickled out and vee and i got down to cleaning up.

and these are short, nondescript sentences cuz i'm sleepy. and my hands are dry from all the dish washing.

craving: a jug of freshly squeezed orange juice
currently listening to: hummm of the computer, my typing and vee's loud sleep-breathing

woaaaaaaah, everyone was wearing fingerless gloves!

my lower right eyelid is twitching.

i have officially begun to get darker. the weather is fabulous. like summer. the sun sets at 8:30. like summer. and i am rarely hungry. like summer. and i'm lazy and sleepy from the heat. like summer.

went to sete on saturday for one of the american assistant's birday thing. it was a hot hot day. and i did a very stupid thing in the morning. i was supposed to get to the train station by 11:20 to catch the train everyone else was catching. and i mixed up the bus schedule and waited over 30 minutes for a bus that wasn't coming. then i went home and had some leftover pasta salad cuz i was angry and hungry and then went out to catch the real bus. sete was fun fun fun fun. we went to lunch and i had a salade aux noix et roquefort a walnut and roquefort salad that had waay too much vinegar on it. everyone else had seafood of course, things with eyes and without eyes, slimy things and shelled things. i always think that if i ate shellfish, i would have to eat a lot cuz after all that work, it looks like a very small bite.

then we went to the beach and laid out in the sun for a looong time. the girls went into the water but i didn't have a swimsuit so i couldn't. plus it was freeeezing. i read some more of austen's persuasion. a book that's taking an annoyingly long time for me to finish. then we headed back to beziers and had pasta carbonera at colleen's place, she made a separate non bacon version for me and the other non-pig-eaters. and we had an interesting rum punch to go with it.

and today i did a lot of laundry and lounged around. i went for a really late run, at 7:30 and it was lovely. then i did my yoga, made and ate another creative salad (today's recipe courtesy of sid): roasted with thyme and olive oil- potatoes, onions, sugar snap peas, and beets. raw tomatoes and roasted red pepper. all mixed with some salt, pepper and parsley. simple but good flavors. i had dessert first- fresh cantaloupe from the market and a grapefruit. eaten separately of course. i seem to crave citrus after a workout so every day, after my run, i eat a grapefruit. and i also ate the last bit of chocolate in my house- a raspberry filled ghiradelli dark chocolate square that my mommy sent a long time ago.

and now i'm sleeepy cuz i had a hot shower.

craving: a jamba juice for breakfast tomorrow
currently listening to: boombox- the lonely island featuring julian casablancas

i got this, you got this, my friend is on my right, aaaay

i'm being lazy and not working out today. which is vair bad and i feel guilty. but it's late. and i had a snack which messed up my groove. enough with the excuses...

the kids were all crazy today. every single one of the 5 classes i had. my 9am class we just plain noisy and i had to tell them to be quiet constantly. i had a lot of energy in the morning (i blame 2, yes 2 chocolate croissants) but they managed to wear me out. and we were working on time and when i drew a clock with 6:35 on it, they wrote "seven to six" and when i told them it was wrong, switched it to "six to seven." and it took me a while to explain the mistake at which several of them smacked their palms to their foreheads and i was glad that they understood the silliness of their mistake. it got better after that but still crazy noisy.

then i came home for lunch and skyped with vee for a nice long time in the sun. i had lunch outside too and skyped and ate and soaked up the sun with the lizards. i had a salad: chick peas, onion, green pepper, tomato, avocado seasoned with salt, pepper, coriander, and olive oil. and i also made some mint lemonade (lime mint cooler) by blending some mint into lemonade and adding a touch of salt for some madras style! i also had a nonfat cherry yogurt which is my least favorite kind of yogurt. i pretty much don't like cherry flavored anything.

headed back to school and my next group of 11 year olds were crazy hyper. they had to learn numbers, time and daily activities for a test the next day but i barely managed to discuss time. thankfully these guys were better at it than the earlier group but there were individuals who would get up to the board to answer a question and then just stand there and say "je ne sais pas, je ne trouve pas" and leave it at that. which i didn't understand. what's the harm in writing something down? if it's wrong i help you correct it and you learn from the mistake. i was trying to be kind and encouraging to the kid at the board while telling the rest of the class to please shut up so i could hear myself think. but they weren't interested in that. there was too much jacket stealing and shoving going on for them to be bothered about how to say 7:45 in the 'traditional sense.' (fifteen minutes to seven)

for my next 2 classes, i thought i had planned an awesome activity: i was going to show them the friday video and tell them the story behind the video and i was sure they would want to discuss. these were the 13 year olds, supposedly the best english class in the school. they had just been to amsterdam on a trip where they had to speak in english so i thought at least they would now see the importance of learning the language. but no. the first group loudly voiced their dislike for the song, in french. they told me that rebecca black has no talent and shouldn't pursue a career in music. but when i asked them the difference between her and justin beiber, all hell broke loose. the girls started arguing with the boys and they was a lot of yelling in french.

the second group was better. they participated more and told me that maybe if the song's lyrics were better she wouldn't have been so hated. or if her voice wasn't so nasal. when i played the song for the first time some of them even nodded their heads along to the beat or joined in at the "fun, fun, fun, fun" and "friday, friday..." bits. they also told me that they would never make a video like that just to become famous, or known. so different from american kids haha. i had such a difficult time getting them to voice their opinions in english though, it was strange. they didn't seem to bother trying, they talked to each other about the song but nobody wanted to try and give me a few sentences in english. so most of the class was spent with me asking them yes or no questions in english and them replying only yes or no and then adding more in french. the second group also thought it would be hilarious to throw tiny bits of eraser at one another and they did so and laughed like loons. sigh.

so then i came home pooped. and peckish. so i snacked and i shouldn't have. i had a whole bunch of strawberries that the sweet man at the market gave me for free cuz i teach his twin girls every other week. and i had some yummy grainy bread with fig jam and bits of comte on top. and more strawberries. and i was still peckish so i grabbed a reeses peanut butter cup. and i don't even like them. i took a bite and immediately regretted it but to not waste it, i but it in the blender, added a bit of milk and made an odd milkshake. it tasted ok, like peanut butter milk. better than the chocolate at any rate. and so all this snacking led to me skyping with vee and it becoming too late to run.

so here i sit at 8:36pm no running, no yoga, too much food, and thoroughly annoyed with rebecca black since i had to play her song 4 times in school.

craving: more daylight so i can go work out and justify the reeses.
currently listening to: 7 guesses which song is stuck in my head.

you aint gotta downgrade, you can get what i get!

i made daal today! and i made it with split peas! same thing really, consistency-wise. yeah, i'm uber creative like that.

and i ate waaay too much food: i will now list for your reading pleasure:
no breakfast cuz i wanted to sleep in
daal with carrots and onions and rice
small raspberry tart
2 small pieces of lemon cake with dollops of creme fraiche
some more daal with rice
3 slices of walnut bread with comte cheese
1 more slice of walnut bread with daal

no dinner for me je me suppose!

today the kids were really bratty and that's my justification for eating a lot. plus the daal is really yummy. it makes me really wish i had kept a diary when i was in middle school so i can go back now and read it and remember what it was like to be that age and try and learn a language. i'm pretty sure i wouldn't sass the french assistant if we had one. i remember being a good child. i think it has to do with the levels of discipline declining severely in today's (western) youth. if parents instilled more fear into their kids to do better in school or else, they'd pay attention. fear is a good motivator and i think it should be used cuz at 12, your child is not going to fully understand how handy english will be one day. no matter how much explaining you do.

i've been thinking about parenting a lot and i remember a calvin and hobbes strip where calvin was in shock at how there was no test for his dad to become 'dad.' it's a bizarre idea but maybe it's one that should be looked into. there are too many miserable people in the world so why create more if they're just gonna end up disillusioned, disheartened, stupid and unmotivated?

i keeed. a little. where this is coming from: i recently learned that most of the kids in this area who go to the school i teach at come from broken homes with very low incomes. the parents of these kids were underachievers themselves and now they work in agriculture seasonally and drink the other half of the year. they smoke and cuss and generally give their kids crap all the time. they also show up at school every now and then and give the teachers crap too. and this i don't understand. if my life sucked and i had a child, i would do everything in my power to make sure my child's life wouldn't suck. and that includes scaring the bejeebus out of it, if that's what it took to get it to study hard and get good grades! i'm fairly sure this isn't a radical thought, i just wonder why the parents out here let their kids be like them. surely that can't make them proud parents to see little versions of themselves.

or is it that? it could be that the parents don't think they have it all that bad, or may even think that they got it good. and so they don't see the point of working any harder for anything more when they're content with their lot. and this is the idea they pass on to their little elodie or bastien that it's ok to just get by cuz french social security is great!

i wonder if i'm being too harsh or even unrealistic about it all. at any rate, these are just some thoughts i thought i'd pen (type) down before i did the dishes and took a shower.

craving: a back cracking massage
currently listening to: whatever you like- t.i.

Pretty eyes, long hair, smells so sweet like summer in the air

i don't have much to report, the past week has been fairly uneventful. weather has been getting nicer so i've been going on walks and bike rides. i also started running and as a result i hurt everywhere. but that's good and i missed working out so much i'm glad i can run a little now.

yesterday i went to the market and got veggies for a salad. the plan is to eat as healthy as possible from now all through my summer. and since the weather's been nice, i don't mind not eating a hot meal. i made a pretty kick ass salad too: one tomato, half of a green and a red pepper, half an onion, i roasted an aubergine with olive oil and garlic and did the same to a zucchini and added chick peas and 2 small cooked and peeled beets. dressed it all with olive oil, salt, pepper, coriander and 2 spoons of wine vinegar. yummmm. and gladys was worried that i didn't have anything hot and so she brought me some soup she made with zucchini, and i love her soups. she put oatmeal in this one which was a yummy texture that i had never thought of before!

i've been doing an hour of yoga everyday for the past few weeks and i love it. but i don't really like the cool down and calm your body and center thing at the end. so i stretch and stop. i don't know if it's necessary to the whole yoga experience or not but i'm always cold and sleepy after it so i stopped doing it. i also have a tough time with the breathing cuz in the videos i follow the time between breaths and poses is too long so i take an extra breath each time and i hope that's ok. and something weird i've noticed is that during standing balance poses, i have no problem balancing on my right leg but can't seem to hold still on my left. it's quite frustrating.

yesterday i checked in with my teachers about what to prepare for today's classes and i got texts and emails one by one canceling all my classes. so where i would have worked 7 hours today, i'm only working 1. this doesn't bother me too much. but i really like working and hanging out with the kids and trying to teach them english and getting them to speak it and not be scared. i only have one teacher who has never canceled his classes on me and because of that i know all the students by name and i can see that they've gotten better! if only this were the case with all my classes. especially the groups who have a more advanced level of english. and now there is only one month left.

craving: a large glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and a bowl of fresh blueberries
currently listening to: always remember be- ryan cuming

and i'm here to remind you of the mess you left when you went away!

i am so angry. i'm typing this at school and i had a nice little post almost finished when i accidentally hit ctrl and 'w' and apparently in france that means 'close the window without double checking or anything.' that is the second post i have lost since i started this blog!

i hate even trying to retype this stuff; it's like accidentally deleting an essay or paragraphs. i have 0 motivation to do it all over again.

i suppose from now on i'm gonna hit 'save now' vigilantly every 5 minutes to make sure that nothing just vanishes.

sigh. here's a less entertaining post:

gladys decided yesterday that since the days are now sunny and that means that warmth will soon be here, to turn off the heating. so i was very very cold in my little room. i took a boiling hot shower and put on more clothes than i should really ever need when i'm at home at that made it better. apparently people who are cold all the time can be diagnosed as such. i haven't researched this but i have a friend who is always cold too and he told me that his regular body temperature is lower than other people's. when i was up in nantes and i thought i had a fever, ange took my temperatrue and said i was a degree lower than usual so it was impossible that i could have a fever! guess i am a reptile after all.

craving: a toasted bagel with cream cheese

currently listening to: the staff room and announcements and noise since the bell just rang.

trussst in me, jussst in me; close your eyes, and trusst in me.

alors not much happened today but i just took a shower and i'm no longer sleepy and blogging usually makes me sleepy. so here i am.

thursday: i had 2 classes and they were both easy and sweet. my eleven year olds were learning to tell time and they were really good at it so i added daily activities: 'what time do you wake up?' and the like. they're like little excited sponges and they learn so quick i love teaching them. i just wonder if they retain the stuff after they run out of class. and i don't really have any way of knowing cuz i never repeat the same material. my second class were 13 year olds and they were less intelligent, as usual. half of them leave for amsterdam next week to practice english. all of the advanced english classes are going along with my favorite english teachers. but i'm not. and i'm kinda bummed about that. they're in for a 20 hour bus ride though so that makes it a little better. the spanish assistant gets to go on that trip to barcelona, but i don't get to go with the english kids. sigh.

these students were learning about describing holidays and so i had them write emails about visiting a specific monument or touristy spot in new york. one of them stood out far beyond the rest. she came up with 10 sentences in under 10 minutes and with barely any mistakes. so i made her write another 10. i told them all to make stuff up if they didn't know what to say and this prodigal child wrote about visiting the statue of liberty, going all the way to the top, jumping into the ocean and swimming with fish and whales and then going home to take a shower. and she ended it with "it was so funny!"

then i came home and it has been read, eat, be online, repeat. i'm reading austen's persuasion and so far it's pretty slow.

wednesday: no work. went to the market in the yucky rain and on the way saw that there was a level 4 flood warning. i didn't notice any water in the streets or anything and the rain was really only spitting, but it had been for the past 3 days straight. i talked to gladys later and she asked if i'd like to come on a walk with her and jean pierre to see the river. so i agreed and my goodness; it was a good 5 meters higher than usual. and flowing ridiculously fast. brown murky water. all the ducks had gotten out of the water and found higher ground. and the river was carrying all kinds of junk and a lot of sticks and wood and tree bits. we then went to valras to the beach and it was incredible. the beach was covered with debris from the river and there was sand everywhere. fortunately the rain stopped and the sea was calm so the river just ran right into it. this made the water level and the flood warning level go down.

i made a yummy roasted red pepper vermicelli risotto with carrots. but now i'm getting tired of what i know to cook. i need to start looking for new easy yummy recipes. any recommendations of good veggie food blogs would be appreciated.

i had a grapefruit today! but far too many dove dark chocolate with almond square thingies. why oh why did you send them to me mommy?

craving: zachary's pizza
currently listening to: nothing and the sound of me typing.

the night i laid my eyes on you, felt everything around me move

gaah! there is too much to write! i wish my skills of summarizing were better. alas. i went away for the weekend to le pays basque and it was beautiful and fun and amazing and like a dream. but let's start with today.

tuesday: the weather has been so so gross here. wet and spit rain and crazy wind. non-stop. my walk to school was hilarious; i felt like i was fighting off the universe's urge to turn me and my umbrella into a modern mary poppins. and then school was freezing and smelled like wet dog/pre-teens.

my classes were hilarious. i spent 2 hours helping one of my teachers conduct an oral expression test on going shopping for clothes. i was the sales clerk and since it was a test they all looked like i had a gun to their heads as i asked them how i could help them. i sold them everything from suits to jeans, shirts, dresses and leather jackets. and i wonder how they go shopping cuz they didn't really know how sizes worked. i had students telling me their pant sizes were 38-43! and that their shirt sizes were the same. very odd. but maybe they all just picked numbers they could pronounce in english and didn't care much what they meant in the world of clothes sizes.

each student also said goodbye at the end of the dialogue and it got me thinking because i just stuck with 'thanks, have a nice day' or versions of that. and i noticed how in france au revoir is the norm. it's expected, both client and sales person say it at the end of any kind of transaction and often more than once with repeated merci as well. i rarely hear 'bye' or 'goodbye' in north america. or is it that i just don't remember hearing it?

and now i will cover what i can of the weekend before i get too sleepy:

friday: visited lourdes on our way to le pays basque. it's the off season so lourdes was pretty dead. most of the stores, museums and restaurants were closed. we stopped at one souvenir shop and got bottles in the shape of the virgin to fill with the holy water from la grotte de massabielle or the virgin's cave. lourdes' cave and it's spring is known for its miracle potential. the story goes that a young country girl named bernadette found this cave and the virgin appeared to her several times. and she told her priest but he didn't believe her and told her to 'have the nice lady tell you her name.' but apparently the virgin refused and these visions made bernadette do odd things like eat dirt. and out of the ground she dug up came forth a spring from the nearby river and when a lady with a paralyzed arm stuck it in the water, she was cured. so people got very excited and came to check it out. and then one day the virgin told bernadette that she was 'the immaculate conception' and bernadette memorized this so she could tell the priest who was shocked and believed her cuz bernadette was uneducated and couldn't have come up with those words in that order by herself. and then she became a saint and it became a huge thing and has been ever since. and there have been around 50 'official' miracles or guerisons since 1858.

then we had the most amazing pizza evar. mine was goat cheese, apple and pine nut with regular tomato sauce and mozzarella as well. so creative and delicious. it was huge too and i made myself eat it all cuz i was just that blown away by how good it tasted. and there was also a veggie one with pre roasted veggies on top- red peppers, sun dried tomatoes, artichoke, olives, etc. and they put salad greens on top of it, which i thought was a most delectable idea.

saturday: biarritz and saint jean de luz. beautiful. the day was sunny and almost hot. we walked around the coast and looked at the cliffs and all the happy surfers- there were a lot. biarritz is known for its waves and surf competitions. the basque houses were pretty cool too, white, red or green borders and woodwork- the colors of the basque flag. the towns were incredibly snooty with very high end stores and restaurants and chocolateries and boulangeries and such. but i really could not get over how gorgeous the ocean was. we tried a gateau basque with cherry filling and it was heaven. so rich- it was like a mix between a snickerdoodle and shortbread with fresh cherry filling. biarritz is also where the surf brands quicksilver and roxy are from. i didn't even know they were french! we checked out their stores but it was the exact same as in the states. a big thing seemed to be linen. there were so many stores selling basque patterned linen and cloth. from what i saw it's primarily stripes. various styles and colors and thicknesses- the most traditional of which were red or green on an off white background. and sometimes there were patterns of the basque cross or chilies. also espadrilles are basque. so i bought a pair!

sunday: we headed to bayonne and walked around looking at the ramparts and the tiny streets. every summer bayonne goes a litte crazy with this giant party called la fete de bayonne. the town hall gives the town permission to let loose and be lawless for a few days. it's pure chaos and madness; just drinking and music and crowds and food and people. and it tends to get a little dangerous as well. since it was way off season, nothing much was going on. but there were still more than a few bars with live music and confetti all over the streets. and people dressed up in costumes. it was almost like they were practicing for the summer- doing a little warm up before the real thing. we got take out italian pasta and sat on the steps of a cathedral and watched the silliness.

monday: we checked out espelette. it's a small town known for one thing: le piment d'espelette which is a chili pepper found only there. it's red, big, around the length of a green pepper and it's fairly thick. one again we were off season so there were no fresh ones to be found. only dried ones and powdered bottles of the stuff. i picked up a bottle or two, but i haven't tried any yet. also, the area we were in is known for foie gras. and other cured meats. so on our way back to beziers we stopped at a farm to get some. there was an angry goose to greet us followed by an adorable old lady. she invited us into her house to choose the various stuffs. i played with her dogs cuz foie gras is gross. she was quite scandalized by the fact that i'm vegetarian and actually tried to convince me that foie gras isn't meat! she was adorable so i assured her i would at least try some and that i would be back for more if i liked it. she does all the duck work herself which i thought was impressive cuz it's gotta be tough.

for those who don't know, foie gras means fat liver. and how they make it is by literally stuffing corn down ducks' throats until they can barely breathe. i don't know why. and then when they're satisfied, they kill them, take their liver and cook it. then they cool it and wrap it in the duck's fat and cool it some more and then stick it in jars. the duck fat preserves the liver and then when you're ready to eat it, you simply stick the jar back in the fridge for a few hours and let the fat solidify so that you can peel it right off the liver. the duck fat is thick and pastel yellow. i used to think that it was eaten too, but it's not.

in between these towns and things we visited others but i'm too tired to write about those as well. it was a very fun trip.

dang it, i'm still not done blogging about normandie!

craving: a strawberry banana smoothie
currently listening to: rapture- iio

baby i have no story to be told, but i've heard one of you and i'm gonna make your head burn

i am going to try and cover the highlights of normandie and nantes in this post. wish me luck.

i'll go backwards. today (wednesday) was simple. i got groceries, went downtown for a bit and walked around cuz it was a sunny day. had 2 very delicious and creative cookies for breakfast from a bakery in beziers. went to sephora and smelled nearly every single perfume and narrowed down the one i love: prada infusion de fleur d'oranger. leftover badly cooked maggi with onions for lunch with a yogurt. listened to last week's wait wait podcast while making sambar for dinner. sambar and rice ready and i'm no longer hungry.

i got home in the afternoon yesterday after a 7 hour roadtrip. i woke up at 530, got dressed, bid farewell to ange and walked in the dark to the nantes tram station. i was so worried about getting lost and not making it to the tram station on time that i did get lost and i missed my tram. fortunately the covoiturage guy, martin, was also running late. i was lucky though cuz he had a huge suv and i got to ride shotgun the whole way which means leg room! we picked up a guy on our way and another 2 in bordeaux and so we had a full car. martin was headed to perpignan to visit his girlfriend. he's a music store owner and guitar teacher. he played susheela raman's salt rain album. what are the odds i would ever hear her rendition of mamavatu in a complete stranger's car on my way to narbonne on a sunny day in france? narbonne-beziers train- 15 minutes. beziers-serignan bus- 25 minutes after a 45 minute wait. freezing home. turned on heaters and unpacked. maggi cuz i had no groceries. showered. dinner and bowling with friends. my scores: first game 65, second 49- and i won the 2nd! so yeah, i and the french can't bowl.

monday: ange had work so i watched the king's speech in centre ville and it was amazing. i really enjoyed it. i went for geoffrey rush but colin firth was incredible. wow wow wow. then i got my eyebrows done, hooray! met up with ange and we got some vin chaud and talked and talked. headed to benou's place after and hung out with him, cedric, some rosé, and far far too many cigarettes (one stereotype that is dead on about the french) for a few hours. home, reading and sleep.

sunday: ange and i stayed home and chilled. read and talked all day. it was so nice and i finished the book of lost things by john connolly and i really liked it. started on code zero by ken follett in french but i left it with ange when i left nantes.

saturday i don't remember. more hanging out with ange.

and now i think i'll flip and go chronologically.

monday the 28th of feb: after my previous post cedric and i went to les falaises the cliffs of fecamp. the day was gloomy and windy and the cliffs were absolutely freezing. there were also unbelievably beautiful. the wind was crazy strong and i could barely keep my eyes open. we stayed for 15 minutes cuz that's how cold it was. then we headed into fecamp to Palais Benedictine which is a castle built around a monastery where monks made a pretty potent liquor from 27 spices. a rich man decided that he was gonna continue making the liquor from the same recipe and he built the castle for his distillery. it now houses a pretty cool museum with a whole mess of old french stuff. and an art gallery- we didn't go. we checked out the distillery and it was murky and humid and smelled strongly of chemicals. we also tasted the benedictine and it was very very strong but with a yummy aftertaste of caramel. the stuff's crazy expensive so i didn't buy any as a souvenir.

and now i am vair vair sleepy so i'm gonna put the sambar away for tomorrow (i haven't even tasted it!) and sleeep. and so this is to be continued!

craving: a long deep back and neck massage
currently listening to: right as rain- adele

should i give up or should i just keep chasing pavements?

grrrr... my last post was accidentally deleted and i hate hate hate hate when that happens.

alors les vacances d'hiver: french people don't like working more than 8 weeks at a time so these holidays are winter holidays, 2 months after xmas holidays.

i am in fécamp with cedric at his parents' place in haute normandie. it's chilly and gloomy but very beautiful. reminds me of both vancouver and wales. there are actual hills around here, something that the southern béziers area i'm in doesn't seem to have. cedric's house has an amazing view of the entire town cuz they're up on a hill.

we got here yesterday morning by covoiturage and it took 4 hours to get from nantes to rouen and cedric's parents ouanassa and yves picked us up and drove us here to fécamp. the drive was a lot of nothing and french countryside. the cows here are usually an off-white color but the weird thing is how unhealthy they all look. i don't know if it's the french variety of cow or something, but they all look ill and weak. there is a lot of mistletoe on all the bare trees and i think mistletoe is hilarious. just shows up in little balls and hangs out for the winter, then the trees kick it out and grow back their leaves.

during the drive from rouen to fécamp cedric's parents bought us each a little apple tart that is a typical normand dessert. it's delicious; a mix of apple pie and cake, with an almond thing on top.

when we got home i met their dog soan who is apparently very mean to strangers but she seems sweet enough to me. and i got to cooking some daal for dinner. cedric cut carrots and had coffee and he'd like everyone to know so. i made the daal as spicy as i would for me and cedric's parents loved it so i was happy. cedric had a hard time though cuz he's lost all his karam tolerance, poor thing.

then we hung out and played a game called jungle speed which was funny and involved grabbing a totem after matching shapes and colors.

and now we're heading out to visit fécamp and around and try and find a château for me!

craving: spicy hot apple cider

currently listening to: best for last- adele

say it loud and it's like music playing, say it soft and it's almost like praying

huzzah! i had a fun weekend!

friday was a get together at jennifer's place (assistant from washington) and we ate and drank and played charades/pictionary/taboo in french. it was a lot of fun and we giggled and yelled to our heart's content. and i had a hard time miming 'modem.'

saturday was a party at jaime's place and that was also fun. mariana and i went for sushi before and it was pretty decent, but the place was owned by japanese people so i did actually expect more. there was a woman singing outside this one restaurant and her voice was over loudspeakers on the rooftop of the polygone, which is where all the restaurants are. and she was kind of a disaster. i thought it was karaoke and so we walked around looking for it and then we saw her. and then we quickly walked away.

sunday i didn't do much, read and worked and slept a lot.

the pav bhaji i made a while ago has lasted this whole week! so now i'm kinda tired of it. and i will go and cook now cuz i need something for lunch tomorrow.

and that's all i have to say. not a very interesting post.

craving: strawberries and chocolate
currently listening to: give me one reason- tracy chapman

you're a song written by the hands of god, don't get me wrong, but this might sound to you a bit odd

alora. my teacher canceled classes today so i slept in. and i did nothing of any use to anyone. went to the market in the morning and bought half a kg of strawberries (already finished em) and veggies for pav bhaji. came home and had a breakfast of chips and salsa and cheerios and milk, with sliced banana. and then i took a nap. it was a fitful bit of sleep cuz i had a scary dream, got very cold and then very hot.

then i got ready for my physio session and went. i am so much better now, there is barely any pain left and i'm up to 20 minutes of yoga a day. romain massaged me and we chatted as usual. he told me that this week they have a new trainee (sidenote: last week they had 2 trainees from the school i teach at, and both just happened to be students of mine. it was a bit awkward cuz now both students have seen me in my bra and each of them have refastened my bra for me when i'm all done and before i get off the table. super.) from the school and that she isn't working out so great. i immediately started thinking about who it could be haha. then he put the electrodes on my back, got me a hot pack, and left without turning the electrode thingies on.

so there i was face down on the table with my bra unhooked, electrodes on my back and a hot pack on top of them, shouting various things to get someone to come into the room. i did this for about 5 minutes and nobody came and i felt really silly cuz romain would only be back at the end of my 15 minutes. so i hooked my bra, removed the hot pack, picked up the electrode controller, and put my coat on hospital gown style and went out into the hallway. and for a place that's usually empty, there were suddenly lots of people around. fortunately romain saw me and came quickly to find out what was going on, which is good cuz i couldn't tell which one was him cuz i wasn't wearing my glasses. he apologized and got the electrodes pulsing and left. and linda came by 15 minutes to remove them and made fun of 'the little walk i took earlier.' and i saw the new trainee- one of my least favorite students- chilling in the waiting area, tapping a pack of cigarettes against her lap (what? thees ees la france after all), waiting to leave for the day. she did say hi to me though.

i came home and made another zucchini ricotta fritter cuz i was hungry and i have 4 zucchini's worth of batter. gladys popped round to have me change jean pierre's homepage to his email account. then i chilled and did useless things online until i was ready to make the pav bhaji.

it didn't take long and i did make a big mess but it got done and it's very yummy. though it tastes like something's missing. i think i should have used more cauliflower. or maybe let the tomatoes cook longer. or something. and gladys popped by again cuz her mouse stopped working but by the time i got upstairs to take a look, it was working and she felt sheepish. she gave me some homemade chocolate cake though! and it was crazy moist. and heavenly. and dense. and everything a chocolate cake should be and more. so i must have her recipe.

i did some cleaning. ate some pav bhaji with a tortilla and then with some tortilla chips (just didn't feel like having it with bread, gosh). and then i took a shower. and tweezed my eyebrows which i both hate doing and really suck at.

and here i am waiting for my hair to dry. i have no morning classes tomorrow so i can sleep in again!

craving: mommy's hot apple cider
currently listening to: insatiable- savage garden

'scuse me, i'm sorry, i'm really such a lady

thundercats ho it's been a while. i told my madre that it was cuz i don't do much and so a lot of what i write would just be me trying to find new ways to write the same, boring stuff, and she just said, "so? do it anyway" and so i shall, so i shall!

so today, tuesday was a fairly uneventful day, like most of my days here. i went to work and my first class was 11 year olds learning directions and how to describe where things are. so i drew a house, a tree and some flowers on the board and had them come up and draw an object anywhere they wanted and we then described where it was in relation to my wobbly house and droopy flowers and broccoli tree. they did pretty well and i was happy with their sentences: "the fat girl is next to the flowers.;" "the pig is behind the window;" "the roast chicken is on the house." then i came home for a nap and food.

i recently rediscovered the joys of fried egg on toast. white bread cuz i live on the edge like that. but it is so yummmy. and i found cheerios at the grocery store and indulged. so my crappy carb intake will be extra high this next few weeks. hoooray! i had 2 bananas to try and compensate or make myself feel better or something (yes i know life doesn't work like that, sheesh).

after lunch i had a group of 3 12 year old students and we worked on clothing. there were only 3 because for weeks their class had terrorized me, not paid attention, yelled, poked, punched and whined and so i finally told the teacher that it was a royal waste of time. she agreed to send me 5 kids at a time and that way they'd have to shut up and listen. we covered clothing vocab with pictures and then flipped through people magazine and i had them describe what demi and ashton and snooki were wearing. they told me they enjoyed being with me cuz i didn't yell. i told them that it wasn't my job and then socratic-ly got them to realize that it was their fault their teacher yells in the first place. (pats self on back) not that they'll listen anyway.

after that was another lame group that semi-participated. i showed them pics in the magazine and had them tell me what the people were doing in the pictures. they had very little imagination though which was sad. and they got very excited at a picture of orlando bloom which makes no sense cuz they're 12! they also think tracy jordan is a loser so clearly they don't know what they're talking about.

my last class was a rubbish group of 13 year olds and they just didn't care to learn about clothing or fashion or anything in english so i killed time by getting them to try and decipher the various ads in that people mag i had. and i noticed a strange trend: people magazine advertises everything a person needs to be clean: toothpaste, mouth wash, electric toothbrush, body wash and body lotion. i don't really know what this means. the other ads were (cuz i know you're just going to ask me later): hershey's chocolate, a diamond watch, armani cologne, estee lauder perfume, american express, hostess cupcakes, got milk (so milk?), goldfish crackers, pepperidge farm cookies, starbucks coffee, pringles and i forget the rest.

then i walked home, dropped my stuff off and went to the grocery store to get some ricotta. and i came home and made these zucchini ricotta fritters that are amazing. so amazing that within 5 minutes of me starting to cook them, my landlady came over to ask what i was cooking cuz she could smell them all the way in her house! i was slightly bummed though cuz i couldn't figure out how to get them the right consistency, they're slightly soft and maybe undercooked even though i left them in the pan for over 3 times the amount of time the recipe called for. still yummay so whatev. so my first time cooking with ricotta= success.

and now i'm sleepy so...

sidenote: today i learned that someone has created a twitter page for helen keller and every single tweet is something like "khusaaaaarrh" or some other sound a deaf person who has never heard language would make, and i am really disturbed by this.

craving: blood orange frozen yogurt from pinkberry
currently listening to: bedrock- young money

they say that time is a healer, and that my wounds are not the same

i haven't written cuz i've spent the past 2 weeks looking after my neck and back. they wigged out once again, out of the blue, or maybe not... i cleaned my shower and perhaps held myself in angles my neck and shoulder muscles were rather against. docteur bacle prescribed anti-inflammatory meds and pain killers for a week. 3 days of not moving, naps, reading, naps, online tv, naps, with food every now and then. and unbelievable pain. constant, and i would try and hide from it by holding my neck in a certain position, but then the pain would find me again, and start up. skipped work for a week too. got better-ish and i got the docteur to give me an ordinance for physiotherapy.

first session was nice, a massage and strange electrodes pulsing for 15 mins. went to work on tuesday the 18th and had a long but uneventful day. second session on wednesday and it hurt. a lot. she pulled and massaged and was in awe at how tightly strained my muscles were. she would poke and marvel that i wasn't in more pain. wednesday night there was more pain since she had prodded me a bit too much. she explained that my muscles were constantly contracted, even when i was asleep or relaxed. so they needed to be coaxed out of that state and into their normal relaxed state and that would take time. lots and lots of time. and she forbade me to do anything vigorous or lift heavy things or exert myself in any way.

thursday, after work where i helped 11 year olds describe me, not the best idea though i was happy with their english. "she has got a long nose" "she has got very large eyebrows" she has got small ears" she has got yellow teeth" they giggled and yelled sentences at me and i corrected and allowed them to insult as long as it was in english. they also thought it was hilarious that some of the boys were taller than me. mariana, the spanish assistant came over and helped me clean up and i lifted and did too much cuz that night there was a lot of pain. but it was a pain i recognized, that muscular owwwww after you've gone and worked out more than you should have. it's a pain i usually like, but this didn't count cuz i haven't worked out in 4 months. what i did was lift a few chairs out of the way of mariana vacuuming for me (such a sweet and kind friend) and i carried a really heavy vacuum cleaner down from my landlady's house.

friday (yesterday) was frightening. i hate hate hate hate hate writing statements of purpose or letters of intent. because i don't really have any intent or purpose other than to study and learn and maybe figure something out along the way. my life has no direction and that's how i like it. so why is that not good enough for graduate admissions folk? anyway, i sent out one of my applications after printing it at my landlady's place. i interrupted jean pierre's 80 year old cousin's birthday dinner, but they were kind enough to invite me to have dessert and champagne with them. gladys had made a yummy upside down apple tart with caramelized lemon rind. sooo good.

so after i mailed out the application i had time before my physio session so i went home to hang up laundry and ashwitha called! i talked to her in the garage and it was such a pleasant surprise. she was worried about my intent/ purpose or lack thereof. who knew a phone call could make me so happy? everyone needs to be stuck in a village without friends for a bit to really appreciate all the little things.

physio was better since i told her how much pain i was in and she said she wouldn't poke or pull. she massaged me and it was soooo nice but never for long enough, barely 10 minutes. then back to the electrodes and they pulsed for longer than usual and i realized that i am not so fond of lying shirtless on my stomach with my head over a hole. i used to think that i'd love a massage table cuz then i could lie on my stomach and breathe at the same time and what a great invention it is! not anymore. i kept shifting around trying to find a position in which my forehead wouldn't hurt so much from being pressed into the hard mattress. and that annoyed the electrodes. and they're scary cuz they pulse electricity into my muscles! but i felt no pain after for a good hour so it was worth it.

then as i was making chapathis, ben called! 2 phone calls in a day! and we chatted about what to do for the feb holidays while i had my hands in chapathi dough. then i rolled em out with a bottle of wine, which was a little tricky. they were not even remotely round in shape but that's fine with me. and i made a guacamole with 4 avocados, 2 tomatoes, half an onion and half a capsicum, 2 teeny red chilies, garlic and real coriander. yummm. and david and i watched the latest grey's and it was a good night. but for the pain.

saturday (today): woke up at 9am cuz my neck and back were angry. stayed in bed trying to find a comfy painless position for 2 hours, drifting in and out of sleep. then i got up and had oatmeal so i could take a pain killer. and i've been trying various sitting positions with a hot pack to get rid of the pain cuz i wanna head to beziers this evening to see other people.

and here i am. no verdict on whether i'll be going out or not. and i'm thinking of what to make for lunch.

craving: a way to remove my shoulder muscles, bang out the tension like they do with red meat on top chef and reinsert em, happy and relaxed and pain free, so i can finally go running and biking and do yoga, work out and dance in this south of france sunshine.
currently listening to: bad romance- lady gaga

every time i close my eyes, i see my name in shining lights, a different city every night oh my!

bonne annee to you all!

i am home in teeny old serignan again after a fabulous 2 weeks in nantes, fontenay and la baule. this post is going to be enormous so i suggest you get yourself a snack and into a comfy position.

since my last post was 10 days ago, i will do shorter recaps of whatever i remember. this is important to me since i seem to have lost all my pictures from fontenay with ben.

fontenay: while we were here, we really didn't do much. the weather was gloomy and rainy throughout and so we stayed in and did lazy things. one of the evenings i made a giant chicken biryani for ben's friends and they inhaled it, so i think it was a success even though i couldn't taste it. i made myself a veggie one and a raita in case i went a little chili powder happy. they all said it was delicious and ben was quite thrilled that the house smelled like india for a day after. his mother francoise tasted it too and thought it made her hiss and fan her mouth, she said it was quite good.

we visited la rochelle for a day and it was rainy and so i didn't see much of the supposedly beautiful city. we went into a mall for around 45 minutes since the boys could really only handle that much at a time. they didn't buy anything as usual and neither did i, though i fawned over a lovely sweater-dress.

nantes: i took a train and ange met me at the station. we public-transported back to her apartment. she lives with her aunt and her family but they were out of town for the holidays and we had the place to ourselves. that night we stayed in and watched french reality tv (about as awful as american reality tv but in french so no painful nasal accents) and made crepes for dinner. she made the crepes and i made the filling and it was delicious. crepes with salty caramel filling for dessert and we were stuffed. woke up lovely late the next day and headed to her family's house an hour outside nantes in a village called saffre.

it was xmas eve and so the whole family was in party mode and ange has 5 siblings all under the age of 10. 2 year old princesse, 3 year old la roy shama, 5 year old la reine pistis, 7 year old noblesse and 9 year old jane de la neige and yes those are their real names. there were plenty of champagne and chocolates so we were all in very good moods and the kids were highly entertaining. they would call my name and when i replied "oui?" they would giggle and run away. this kept up for an hour or so until their mother yelled at them to stop.

ange's aunt and her incredibly misbehaved 4 year old son came over for the festivities which included ridiculously loud african music and much dancing and drinking (chocolate eating on the part of the children, bad, bad idea). ange and i spend much of the night gift wrapping last minute gifts for the kids. they were all getting at least 6 gifts apiece.

the custom in france seems to be to get everything over with on the 24th and then do nothing on the 25th. so all our wrapping was just for 30 minutes or so and then the brats ripped them all open. big waste; i think i'm very anti the whole concept wrapping paper. all my gifts were without any kind of wrapping or embellishments. but before gifts was dinner and ange's mom was super sweet and separated all the veggies from the meat so i could actually eat! and it was delicious: a veggie stew with chick peas and cous cous and they had some harissa so i spiced it up. and dessert was 2 cakes, one with obnoxiously bright layers that was super yummy except for the fruit cake dry fruit bits (i hate those and picked them out). and the other was a buche de noel which is a christmas log cake and it was supermarket bought and tasted like plastic. and an assortment of chocolate and champagne- the theme for the night.

putting the kids to bed was difficult to say the least. and once done we were pooped and passed out. tried to wake up late the next day but there were 5 kids screaming and jumping and crying and whining and other kid things. so we lazed around and tried to ignore all the noise. i felt like the grinch at the beginning of the cartoon "all the noise, noise noise, noise, noise noise!" so the next afternoon we split and headed back to nantes and the empty apartment.

and we chilled and relaxed and slept and hung out with a couple of ange's friends. it was lazy and full of french tv shows. and then we packed up and headed to la baule by train.

wednesday the 29th of december: christian met us at the train station and it was a very happy moment seeing him again my french father :) that day all of us arrived and we were a group of 6: me, ange, yana from ukraine who is studying in paris, asuka from japan who is also studying in paris, julia from russia who came down just for her winter break and her friend ana. and we all had a blast just talking and cooking and eating and hanging out in front of the fire. and christian kept us well plied with wine and croissants and pastries and other unhealthy things. and every night we'd sample some of his 'digestive' alcohols that would burn like a raging fire going down and leave a nasty taste in your mouth. needless to say tongues were loosened and everyone was rather jolly.

and new year's eve: we did a huge appetizer and cheese dinner with bruno and pascal mainguy- good people who helped out with the camp. it was awesome and we ate and ate and ate. there were over 50 assorted appetizers like in the movies; mini pieces of bread with spreads and caviar, foie gras, salami, sausage, veggie ones with tapanade, cheese, jams, and puffed pastry ones with escargots, veggies, cheeses, mini sandwiches, all these one bite taste explosions that were oh so so delectable. and then there was over 10 different types of cheese from basics like brie and camembert to 4 different chevres and a few brebis and then even 5 hard cheeses that were so mouthwatering. there was even a super bright orange cheese that was over 6 months old! and to accompany was champagne with the starters and a bordeaux from 1989! it was so yummy! and old! and he even brought out my favorite type of wine for dessert- a sweet red dessert wine from perpignan. and desserts were little mini desserts; eclairs, macarons, chocolate cake bites, fruit tarts, pastries with chocolate and some without, with berries and other fruits. and there was a homemade chocolate cake that was the perfection of a moist cake and so so very decadent, i must get the recipe. and there was also a buche de noel with some cointreau in it that was interesting. and this was followed by some delicious passion fruit and sicilian lemon liqueurs. yum yum yum.

the next day, for the first day of the year we all slept in and woke up super late and did nothing all day. talked and lounged in front of the fire and ate leftovers from the night before.

then on sunday corinne drove ange and i back to nantes and i headed back home to serignan.

it was a good good break. and thank you to all of you who let me stay and fed me and were just amazing!

and now today, tuesday the 4th of january: last night 3 of 4 teachers contacted me to let me know that i wouldn't be needed so i only had one class. woke up nice and late (catching up on sleep after the holidays) and ate a giant breakfast which consisted of oatmeal and leftover soba noodle stir fry from the night before. and i watched ugly betty episodes and read until i had to leave for work.

i had 12 year olds and i decided to work on new year's resolutions with them: a brilliantly apt and creative idea for the first week of january. and they needed to revise "i will..." i made them each come up with around 5 or so and they were quiet-ish and really well behaved. this was one of my nightmare groups so i think that their teacher must have scared them into being good. some of my favorite resolutions were " i will ride my motorbike;" "i will misbehave less;" "i will go;" and "i will not kill the children." and then they asked me how to say 'i love you' in tamil and i was stumped.

i got home and pottered around, cooked myself some yummy masala rice with red pepper, tomatoes, carrot and onion. and got to work on contacting professors for letters of recommendation for the programs i'm applying to for next year.

i am so so so scared about applying and what i'm going to do next year in general. when i'm browsing websites and getting info, i actually start sweating a little.

phew!

craving: a moist lemon pound cake
currently listening to: ariel salvaro blabbing to me on skype :)